This is how I cope and move on...
To prove that I have been successful despite my imperfection; I will point out that since being on program I've had a few less-than-stellar moments. For instance:
- I've eaten an entire can of cake frosting (that I had specifically bought for cupcakes a friend and I were going to decorate. I'm still so ashamed she had to go home and get a replacement can...)
- I've eaten an entire half gallon of coffee flavored frozen yogurt - right before punk rope, in fact. That sucked- I thought I was going to die as I tried to jump with all of that in my stomach.
- I've consumed entire jars of peanut butter at a time.
- I've had about 10 serious candy binges - consuming a good pound or more of gummy sour candy at a time.
- Plus the many times I did not track my food and KNEW I had eaten well over my allotted points.
- I try to figure out why I had such an insatiable craving or why I couldn't stop eating. (This is not very easy, but if you figure it out, is very helpful)
- I put it in perspective and tell myself it was one meal or one binge. In the big picture, it means nothing- as long as it stops then and there.
- I immediately forgive myself and move on. I do not let it snowball into an entire day/week/month of off program behavior.
- Sometimes I track the binge, sometimes I don't. But I make sure to have a healthy normal meal at the next mealtime.
If you find yourself in a similar situation (and you will), please remember these 2 things, because they are so important:
1- PERSPECTIVE Think about it - all you did was consume more calories/points than you should have. Big deal. Do not beat yourself up. Do not feel guilty. Just stop as soon as you can and see #2.
2- START OVER IMMEDIATELY - The moment you regain control, start over. Do not skip a meal. Do not let it turn into a "free for all" until your next meeting. Put it behind you, learn from it if you can, and get back on program.
I am not making excuses for my binges. I wish they hadn't happened at all. I would love to never have the urge to binge again. It's a horrible out of control feeling where I never get full. It's very scary.
I would love to believe that the day will ever come where I do not have the urge to binge. I am not sure how realistic that is. So until then, I will continue to use my strategies for coping with and recovering from those moments. Without them, I would have given up long ago.