A pretty incredible night...

When I weighed in at my meeting last week, I was 139, which put me just two pounds shy of goal. Two pounds. That's also the lowest I have ever weighed as an adult in my entire life. Pretty mind blowing.

Now, despite being just two pounds from goal, I had no expectations on when I would actually *hit* goal because I have never put pressure on myself to 'lose x pounds in y time frame'. I think that kind of thinking is unrealistic and only sets you up for disappointment if you don't reach your goal in the time you allotted yourself (and then what do you do? Quit? I hope not. Quitting is never an option, remember?).

And the more significant reason I never approached my weight loss journey with that attitude is because I realize I can only control MY BEHAVIORS. I cannot control what number appears on the scale. Yes, everything we do can and will affect that number but not necessarily in the time we expect or when we expect it. If we do what we need to do, our bodies *will* drop the weight and it *will* show up on the scale - in its own time. Until it does show up, just keep doing what you need to do: Focus on your healthy habits, the good health guidelines, your activity and every other tiny choice that affects your progress.

So that is what I reminded myself when I saw how close I was to goal. I told myself to "just keep doing what I know I need to be doing" and I'll hit goal. When my body is ready.

Since last Tuesday, I've tracked, drank my water, took my vitamins and worked out - everything I need to be doing. I've also been weighing myself at home every day (I don't suggest this for everyone but it helps me immensely) and over the weekend I actually not only hit goal (it doesn't count unless it's at WW but this is obviously a good sign), but I actually have been *under* goal since yesterday. And after work tonight, I had my lowest at home weigh in to-date, or ever in my life as an adult. This is more surreal than I can even begin to describe, so I will just show you the weight:

That's right. 134.2. One hundred thirty four (point two)!! I almost can't even wrap my head around that number it seems so unbelievable. I immediately did 4 things:

1. Grabbed my measuring tape to take my measurements. 36-25-38 (the smallest I've ever been in my life!!!)
2. Try on my size 0 skirt I bought at Banana a few years ago. (um, it's actually BIG!)
3. Got in touch with my leader, the awesome Melanie- 

...to tell her that tomorrow night might be THE NIGHT

1. Stripped down to my bra and panties to photograph what I look like:

Holy crap!!! Is that really me?!?! How the  $%#^!^* did that happen?!

After that whirlwind of excitement, I was so elated and bursting with energy, I just had to get out and go for a bike ride. I knew I only had about an hour to ride before it was totally dark (I avoid riding at night) so I just jumped on the cruiser with no agenda. Here's my outfit-

For no reason, I ended up going over the Williamsburg Bridge, into Manhattan and thought about my very first night over that bridge on that bike. It was only 3 years and 1 month ago but in a way feels like a lifetime ago. I titled that post "I will remember tonight forever" and that's no exaggeration. I knew the significance of that night even as it was happening. I knew what a huge deal that first ride was. But what I didn't know at the time was how far I would come just 3 years later: how that bike would be one thing that changed my life, cheered me up when I was sad, and made me feel a sense of pride and accomplishment I had never known from any other source. I can't imagine not having her in my life.

Here are some photos from tonight's 10 mile ride:

So tonight, just 3 years and 1 month after that maiden voyage over the Williamsburg Bridge, I rode over that bridge and into Manhattan like it was nothing - balancing and pedaling while standing up, having the confidence to maneuver through traffic, taking photos of the sights along the way, and being called beautiful sexy and strong by strangers, which is great - but even better is that I *felt* beautiful, strong and sexy. I felt amazing. Absolutely amazing. It's a priceless feeling that I truly hope every one of you reading this has the opportunity to experience. I have come so far in such a short time that it still amazes me when I think about it. And as I like to remind everyone there is nothing special about me. You can do it too!

So when I weigh in at my meeting tomorrow night, there is an actual chance I am going to hit goal. I waited my entire life for this (or at least since I was 8 and started gaining/obsessing about my weight) and I can hardly even believe I am saying it, but it really could happen tomorrow night. I'll be tweeting either way to let you all know what happens shortly after 6pm. Of course if it doesn't happen, I'm ok with that because I know it's close. And I'm just going to keep doing what I need to do to get there and then keep doing what I have to in order to maintain it.

Whether it comes tomorrow or next month, I'm ready. I'm finally ready. And it's gonna happen.